Turning Passive into Active

   When diagnosed with breast cancer last January, I was totally shocked. There was no breast cancer in my family, and I always had yearly mammograms. I slowly accepted this fact and was determined to do everything the doctors suggested. I had never known the details of anyone else's cancer and treatment and thought I would just have my chemo and radiation from March until Sept. and then return to my former very busy, full life as a teacher and tutor, wife and mother and friend. I thought that I could continue to teach while having chemo. However, reality struck, and I was too fatigued, dizzy, and blurry-eyed to continue. I often needed two naps a day and early bedtimes to get through the day. Three hospitalizations because of infections set back the healing process for the lumpectomy, so radiation had to be postponed. I still haven't quite fully healed.
   I reached a low point when my oncologist told me that I couldn't begin radiation until mid-September, it would take 6 1/2 weeks, and I would probably be too tired to return to teaching until December. I was supposed to be done with radiation the end of August. I felt like a victim and wondered "Why me?"
   After several weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I decided that was enough  self-pity. It was time to take charge of my life and enjoy it as much as possible, despite the side effects of neuropathy, lympadema, and who knows what's coming when radiation begins in a few weeks. I registered for courses given in a nearby town, called "Leisure Learning for Seniors," an art history class, music appreciation, poetry writing, and "gentle yoga," all activities which I love. I arranged my schedule so I could do all these activities, have my daily radiation, visit my grandchildren, and have time for lunches with friends. I am counting my blessings that as a teacher I have accumulated sick days after 21 years in my district and that my job is waiting for me when I am well enough. I am really looking forward to the next few months before I go back to school. I have not felt at all depressed and really energized by all my plans since I "turned passive into active."                           Life is good.